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Ride the Wrybread Taxi:

Live From Webzine99

Wow, Webzine99 was an absolute total blast, even if Mayor Willie Brown got the crowd cheering by proclaiming "I declare this independent web publishing day!" And even if we all got kicked out at 11:30 because someone started a jet engine that was about the loudest thing I've heard. But against all odds our "video booth" was a complete success, and we hardly had to prod anyone to get into the well-adorned Wrybreadbox to wear an extra goofy wig or whatever else was lying around and act their goofiest for the camera. Enjoy the movies, I'm hoping to add sound in a day or two. I'll be doing it the same way I did my crack stuff, suggestions are invited, use the comments window below.

Get on the Mighty Wrybread List and we'll let you know when things get updated.

P.S.- The absolute highlight of the night was when Mabel climbed on Red's shoulders, who was naked, and they draped fabric over themselves to form a tall gangly creature right out of a Star Trek episode, and with Mabel guiding they marched through the milling audience and right up on stage while a group of panelists was acting super intense in front of a crowd of two or three hundred, and while the crowd quietly gaped, Mabel and Red pasted a huge "wrybread.com" banner right below the podium. Then Mabel raised the fabric flashing naked Red, and the crowd by this point had realized it was alright to laugh or at least exhale, and the creature then made its gangly way offstage. I laughed so hard I had trouble standing, tears running down my cheeks. A supreme moment. Proverbial hats off and everything else to Mabel and Red.

 

Need help watching the videos?

They're all compressed at a rate just too fast stream over a dialup connection, which means if you're on a dialup you'll need to download them before playing them. Should be short and painless though. Just click the "download" link instead of the "stream". And they all use RealVideo, if you need help on that, click here.

The Movies
(all in RealVideo, use the download link if you're on a dialup
)

a man a woman and a simon
download (1.15 megs)
stream

a man and his planes
download (537k)
stream

The Interview
download (2.3 megs)
stream

Nick and Tiff
download (800k)
stream

Two-Fer-One
download (1.5 megs)
stream

The Great Gift
download (250k)
stream

Dark Angel
download (600k)
stream

The funkywhiteboy.com Movie
download (1.2 megs)
stream

Pacho and Red
download (1 meg)
stream

Show Me Your Kung-Foo
download (1.5 megs)
stream

The Gespacho Dance
download (750k)
stream

The Mouse Incident
download (1.2 meg)
stream

Super Freaks!
download
stream

Lets See Those Tonsils
download
stream

Dance Gingrich, Dance
download
stream

Burnman Dan
download
stream

Burning Tophat
(starring Maid Marian & Larry Harvey)
download
stream

Boa 1 & 2
download
stream

 

 

Here's some goofy pics
to give you
some idea of
what this place
looks like, at least
while we were
setting up. (1:50pm)

Many more pictures
coming, or at least
a bunch more.

 

Comments:
(go ahead, say something, I dare you)
(whatever you type goes to my beeper)
(07/24/99 00:46:38 )

awesome hugh...
this is wonderful
(07/24/99 01:08:22 )

We just finished setting up at Webzine99
See ya tomorrow
(07/24/99 03:47:53 )

I'll click where ever I want!
(07/24/99 20:32:20 )

how come all the movies look the same.......some people acting like idiots for three minutes then its over?
(07/24/99 20:45:53 )

this is big rig!
(07/24/99 22:40:23 )

Not only can Gespacho dance,
He can dance
in cargo pants.
(07/24/99 22:51:51 )

Guano/Gespacho
He's the king.
He can do
most anything.
(07/24/99 22:57:56 )

He is NOT a
batwinged creature.
He is
something
even deeper.
(07/24/99 22:59:06 )

He is NOT
tomato soup.
He is NOT
a big, bat poop.
(07/24/99 22:59:43 )

Agent Gespacho!
He's the man!
If he can't do it,
nobody can.
(07/24/99 23:02:41 )

"Poems To & For
Gespacho"
(07/24/99 23:03:25 )

To be continued...
(07/25/99 06:55:34 )

"Dan-cin...
(07/25/99 06:56:06 )

... Oh ...
(07/25/99 06:56:37 )

Daaaan - ciiiin
--
(07/25/99 06:56:58 )

... Oh ..."
(07/25/99 10:20:53 )

sssh
(07/25/99 16:23:22 )

The site seems to
say us, but the line about the beeper says me....i like us....Pauline is a whiner and a manipulator, he could have shot his ward in the afternoon...thedre@wenet.net
(07/26/99 18:08:01 )

Because I would
not estop for
Gespacho
Gespacho
estopped
for me.
(07/27/99 22:05:48 )

all mimsey were the borogroves
(07/28/99 03:21:27 )

You got more funk than welfare cheese logs.
-Isaac
(07/28/99 20:07:23 )

all mimsey were........



Gespacho.....
(07/28/99 20:11:20 )

You know somebody told me I was going to get a virus downloading all those dancing gps and then today I got home and all my many emails had been returned to me unsent but I say: it was still worth it to be able to see that ridiculous piece of electronic guano over and over and over again....
(07/28/99 20:16:16 )

Yup. Still funny. The thing is you can't tell from the footage whether he's just doing one of those kind of dumb, white boy dances, or whether he can really dance. I think he might really be dancing. That makes it even better.
(07/30/99 11:18:39 )

All you really need is a dildo and a dream...
(07/30/99 11:19:11 )

Excuse me. All you really need is a dildo and a diaper.
(08/19/99 15:11:27 )

You are the cosmic bang I've been waiting for...
(08/19/99 15:12:09 )

A super nova for immense proportions...
Angelica
(08/19/99 15:12:21 )

A super nova of immense proportions...
Angelica
(08/19/99 15:12:45 )

A super nova inside my head...
Angelica
(09/04/99 19:03:03 )

this is giving me terrable gass !!
(09/04/99 19:04:15 )

no ! no ! i really mean it raunchy gass ! steve shoe
(09/04/99 19:06:40 )

girls send me your picture ! bshoe80@aol.com
(01/13/00 18:27:35 )

christ man! someone hold that camera steady!!
(03/16/00 19:30:15 )

phew....
what a waste of bandwidth!
(03/16/00 19:31:39 )

Sites like these should be shipped to the moon for storage
(hopefully they get destoryed en route!)
(03/16/00 19:34:18 )

yup! i'll say it again....

What a waste of bandwidth!
(03/16/00 19:35:19 )

Result := 0;
{ Do nothing if not connected }
if not Connected then
exit;
{ Current time }
t1 := GetTickCount;
{ Loop until all data sent or timeout occurred }
while DataSize > 0 do
begin
{ Get output buffer free space }
nToSend := OutFreeSpace;
{ If output buffer has some free space... }
if nToSend > 0 then
begin

{ Don't send more bytes than we actually have to send }
if nToSend > DataSize then
nToSend := DataSize;
{ Send }
togglerts(false);
WriteFile( FComPortHandle, DataPtr^, DataSize, nsent, nil );
{ Update number of bytes sent }
Result := Result + abs(nsent);
{ Decrease the count of bytes to send }
DataSize := DataSize - abs(nsent);
{ Get current time }
t1 := GetTickCount;
{ Continue. This skips the time check below (don't stop
trasmitting if the FOutputTimeout is set too low) }
continue;
end;

{ Buffer is full. If we are waiting too long then
invert the number of bytes sent and exit }
if (GetTickCount-t1) > FOutputTimeout then
begin
Result := -Result;
exit;
end;
end;
end;

// Send a pascal string (NULL terminated if $H+ (default))
function TCommPortDriver.SendString( s: string ): boolean;
var len: integer;
begin
len := length( s );
{$IFOPT H+}
// New syle pascal string (NULL terminated)
Result := SendData( pchar(s), len ) = len;
{$ELSE}
// Old style pascal string (s[0] = length)
Result := SendData( pchar(@s[1]), len ) = len;
{$ENDIF}
end;

// v1.02: send a C-style strings (NULL terminated)
function TCommPortDriver.SendZString( s: pchar ): boolean;
var len: integer;
begin
len := strlen( s );
Result := SendData( s, len ) = len;
end;

// v1.02: set DTR line high (onOff=TRUE) or low (onOff=FALSE).
// You must not use HW handshaking.
procedure TCommPortDriver.ToggleDTR( onOff: boolean );
const funcs: array[boolean] of integer = (CLRDTR,SETDTR);
begin
if Connected then
EscapeCommFunction( FComPortHandle, funcs[onOff] );
end;

// v1.02: set RTS line high (onOff=TRUE) or low (onOff=FALSE).
// You must not use HW handshaking.
procedure TCommPortDriver.ToggleRTS( onOff: boolean );
const funcs: array[boolean] of integer = (CLRRTS,SETRTS);
begin
if Connected then
EscapeCommFunction( FComPortHandle, funcs[onOff] );
end;

// COM port polling proc
procedure TCommPortDriver.TimerWndProc( var msg: TMessage );
var nRead: dword;
begin
if (msg.Msg = WM_TIMER) and Connected then
begin
nRead := 0;
if ReadFile( FComPortHandle, FTempInBuffer^, FComPortInBufSize, nRead, nil ) then
if (nRead <> 0) and Assigned(FComPortReceiveData) then
FComPortReceiveData( Self, FTempInBuffer, nRead );
end;
end;

procedure Register;
begin
{ Register this component and show it in the 'System' tab
of the component palette }
RegisterComponents('System', [TCommPortDriver]);
end;
(03/16/00 19:35:59 )

BOOM!!
(04/18/00 14:05:33 )

don't spray it
(04/20/00 22:58:49 )

pictures are 's clear as sh#t.....
(05/26/00 04:36:46 )

this world needs twice as many nipples
(06/13/00 19:40:15 )

Beeper, my ass! What you need is a vibrator! Hey, what are you looking at? Look at that woman walking across the street! Nice ass, huh? Hey! That's my wife you're talking about! And talking to yourself, no less! This is more fun than e-mail! (Just kidding...)
(06/13/00 19:41:16 )

Beeper, my ass! What you need is a vibrator! Hey, what are you looking at? Look at that woman walking across the street! Nice ass, huh? Hey! That's my wife you're talking about! And talking to yourself, no less! This is more fun than e-mail! (Just kidding...)
(06/13/00 20:03:49 )

Beeper, my ass! What you need is a vibrator! Hey, what are you looking at? Look at that woman walking across the street! Nice ass, huh? Hey! That's my wife you're talking about! And talking to yourself, no less! This is more fun than e-mail! (Just kidding...)
(08/24/00 07:56:47 )

suck mah balls!!
(08/31/00 04:58:53 )

huh?
(09/22/00 09:20:19 )

i thought that you can download the dark angel show....i quess i was wrong
(03/15/01 10:15:02 )

i want every body images of woman carrying man or woman take lifting man on their body how this seet woman take carrying hard man
(04/18/01 18:10:30 )

i feel like such an outsider... i don't know anyone here!!!!!!

goose egg. :(
(05/29/01 09:04:02 )

NO, STILL OTHING TO SAY, REALLY
(07/06/01 17:03:28 )

hey alex. it was fun seeing you at POW the other day. I hope you can make it to webzine 2001 in nyc this year - ryan junell
(07/15/01 02:51:19 )

where do I Find TcommportDriver
(07/15/01 02:52:53 )

emial me address of TcommportDriver
peter_piper22@hotmail.com
(10/30/02 07:11:05 )

where can i find the cartoon for this guy gooby wooby


unzeen13@yahoo.com
(01/17/03 17:10:19 )

pussy
(03/16/03 17:02:54 )

wr
(05/06/03 21:29:59 )

what the hell is up with this site
(05/19/03 16:59:21 )

iwant every body images of woman
(05/19/03 17:04:33 )

i wont everybody images of woman carring man or woman take lifting man on their body how this seet woman take carrying hard man
(05/19/03 17:06:38 )

i wont every body images of woman carring man or woman take lifting man on their body how this seet woman take carrying hard man
 



 
 

The last message from anywhere in my site to my beeper was:

(From here)

peekaboo! givn' u luv from London.

And they all get archived here for some reason.